


Adrichatmariladynoirinette-Bug

by Mommadon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Hilarity Ensues, Lovesquare, Matchmaking, Wingman Alya Césaire, Wingman Nino Lahiffe, accidental reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mommadon/pseuds/Mommadon
Summary: There's this spot in the locker room that nobody notices.  It's a great place to sluff school, or have a secret date, or even transform into a superhero and fly off to save the day.  Too bad *nobody* remembers to check that spot.Or, a story where a lousy transformation location clues Nino and Alya into LB & CN's true identity, and then the best friends decide it is FINALLY time to get their ship sailing.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 77
Kudos: 180
Collections: January 2021 - Exchange





	1. A Great Place to Transform

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Z_IsInThe_Zone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Z_IsInThe_Zone/gifts).



> Happy exchange! Thanks for the prompt, @Z_IsInThe_Zone! I hope you enjoy this story! If you'd like to join a really amazing group of Miracu-minded friends and get prompts and participate in exchanges and all that cool stuff, check out or Discord server. Free to use, lots of great things to try, and friends to make.  
> [Miraculous Fanworks Discord Server Invite](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)

“So, Babe,” Nino drawled as he leaned in to Alya’s side. She was hyperfocused on the tablet in her hands, so he knew she would be an easy target. “Our anniversary is in a couple weeks; I was thinking about celebrating with visiting the zoo and then going out to dinner—”

“Shush!” she reprimanded, “I’ve almost—I’ve almost got this—” she bit her lip and punched the buttons on the screen vigorously, “YES!” she cheered. “High score! Beat _that,_ Lahiffe!”

He laughed and kissed his girlfriend’s cheek. “You are impossible,” he admired.

“So,” she added without missing a beat, “Where did you have in mind?”

“Hm?”

“Dinner. Our anniversary. Because I don’t want to blow the bank; I know how many DJ gigs’ worth of pocket money you blew on my birthday, and _no thanks.”_ She checked her watch, then nodded once to herself and started another level of _Super Penguino._

“Well,” Nino said, gripping the side of the tablet so they could play two-player, “we could always go to your mom’s restaurant—”

“Are you kidding me? Have her _right_ there? No way! How about we just get something from a street vendor and then find a cozy place to people-watch.”

He laughed. “Sounds nice.” Their game was going well. “By the way, how much time do we have?”

“About ten minutes.”

Nino and Alya were curled up behind a bank of lockers, ditching study hall. They’d reasoned away their hesitancy enough times now that it had become more of a planned date, and the worry about getting caught was only a lingering concern rather than being a major worry. They only got study hall together once a week and would only spend half of it together playing games or just talking. But what a precious time it was for both of them! Dates were rare, family schedules were hard to balance, and Nino was doing more DJ gigs than ever and Alya was starting a junior internship at the TV studio—yes, sneaking a half-hour once a week, _after_ school work was completed, was perfectly ok. But just to be on the safe side, though, they hid in the locker room where nobody would find them. 

“You know what I _really_ want for our anniversary? To get back at Ladybug for locking us in that cage together.”

Nino chuckled, “Wouldn’t that be a thing. How exactly would you get back at her?”

Alya paused and tapped her lips, “Well, I know she says she’s not interested in dating Chat Noir, but you can’t deny their crazy chemistry.”

Nino nodded once, then had to return his focus to the game. “What if she’s got a thing for someone else?”

“Then I’d want to find out who it was and hook her up with her mystery guy. Because she helped me find love, it’s high time I returned the favor.”

“So _that’s_ how you’d get even? Help her find love?”

Alya shrugged. Suddenly, their game was overridden by an alert that flashed across the screen: **_Akuma Alert! Head to safe rooms until the all-clear has been called. Akuma Alert! Last spotted at the Arc de Triomphe. Akuma Alert!_**

“Ugh,” Nino groaned, “The Arc de Triomphe is half a city away! There’s no way we’ll be affected.”

“Hm,” Alya tapped her lips, “maybe we can stay here, hidden, and gain ourselves a few extra minutes?”

Nino adjusted his glasses, “You’re positively wicked, Babe.” He grinned and leaned in to steal a kiss, when unexpectedly, the door to the locker room flew open. Alya grabbed Nino’s head and forced the two of them to the floor and under the bench. She pressed her long, tan finger over his lips and shook her head. Her meaning was quite clear—if they got caught in here, it was goodbye secret date time.

Footsteps were approaching. Alya was quivering in Nino’s arms. He scanned the area for the easiest escape route, when the footsteps entered the aisle they were hiding in. Footsteps created by… by orange shoes with a familiar butterfly pattern on the back. What was Adrien doing in here? Strange. Nino started getting up. If it was just Adrien, he wouldn’t care that Nino and Alya were ditching study hall together. But before he could worm his way out from under the bench, Adrien halted and started talking. 

“No time to waste, Plagg. You’re going to have to just deal with brie until after school.”

“You don’t get it—my tastes are too delicate!” a squeaky voice grumbled.

“Get _over_ it! Plagg, claws out!” Nino heard Alya’s gasp next to him as they the whole aisle was washed in blinding green light, and a pair of black steel-toed boots replaced Adrien’s orange shoes. Then, the superhero took a giant leap and ducked out the window. 

Nino and Alya looked at each other with dumbfounded expressions. “Wh-wh-whaaaa—” Alya croaked, not even inhaling before being interrupted again by the locker room door opening and footsteps approaching. The two froze once more, too shocked to think straight, and the footsteps approached their hiding spot. This time, the footsteps were rushed, but they were far lighter and more delicate, and soon a pair of pink ballet flats came into view. 

“Marinette,” a small voice chirped, “you didn’t get to finish your lunch, are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’ll be just fine, Tikki.”

“Maybe you want to eat this macaron before we go!”

“Are you kidding me?” Marinette’s tender voice admonished whoever ‘Tikki’ was, “What will you eat when we’re done?” Nino frowned at Alya, who was listening with rapt, albeit horrified, attention. “It’s fine, Tik, really. Besides, we’re running late. I’m sure Chat has been there for ages already. Ready? Tikki, spots on!”

Again, Alya and Nino winced against the unexpected flash of light. Pink ballet flats turned into red and black spotted boots, and then a very familiar zipping sound announced that Marinette— _Ladybug—_ had just exited through the exact same window that Adrien— _Chat Noir—_ had used moments earlier. 

The locker room was silent, apart from the thudding of the hearts of the two people hiding underneath a bench that was, apparently, a favorite transformation spot of Paris’ superheroes. 

Nino and Alya stared at each other, unblinking, unmoving, barely breathing, until at long last, Alya drew in a deep, rattling breath, and made the most ghastly sound—a mix between a screech, a groan, and a sigh. “ADRICHATMARILADYNOIRINETTE-BUG!!!” 

Nino, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to speak just yet. Probably never would be. So he just nodded, then felt his own icy cold cheeks. The blood must have left his face several minutes ago. Oh well. There was nothing he could do about it now. Not when there was the whole fact that, well, Adrichatmariladynoirinette-bug.

Alya was up on her feet and pacing before Nino’s mouth started working again. She was chattering away to herself, not really forming sentences (her brain was whirring far too fast for sentences). Nino watched from his fetal position on the floor as her feet thumped forward six steps, spun 180-degrees, then six steps more. Six, turn. Six, turn. Six, turn. And then, it came to him. Nino sprung to his feet, his jaw slack, his eyes wide, and announced, “Marinette and Adrien are in love with each other and have no clue!”

Alya halted in her tracks (she was half way to step four) and turned to look at her boyfriend. “ _What?”_

“Adrien is Chat Noir. Chat Noir is in love with Ladybug. Marinette is Ladybug. Marinette is in love with Adrien. It’s like they’re locked in this weird love… circle…no? More like a love square thing.”

Alya nodded slowly, “Oh my gosh, you’re right! Here I was just trying to make sense of the fact that my best friend was Ladybug all this time and your best friend was Chat Noir and we never knew… but… holy cow, you’re _right!_ The poor idiots!”

“Well, I wouldn’t call them idio—”

“Do you _realize_ what this means? This means we’re the only two people on the planet who know that they’re in love with each other, and we are now _obligated_ to get them together!”

“Obligated? I don’t think—”

”Ok, Nino, I love you and all, but I really need you to shut up for a second.” Nino rolled his eyes as Alya started her pacing again. “We’ve got to get them to see each other for who they are. They’re both so miserable, and I promised myself I’d get Ladybug with her mystery beau… who’d have guessed it was Adrien—ha, Chat!—all this time! But how to do it? Well, obviously, if we can get Ladybug and Adrien alone together we can unmask them and—”

“NO.” Nino interjected, holding his hand out as Alya walked straight into him. 

“What?”

“I have no problem helping you scheme a way to get my bro hooked up with ‘Nette, but we can never, _ever_ unmask them. That would be, like, _so_ not cool. They have reasons—you remember them as well as I do—of why they haven’t revealed their identities to each other, and we are _not_ people who out their friends. Not ever.”

Alya started to protest, but Nino gave her a stern look and her face fell in the way it always did when she had to admit she was wrong. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, you’ll never fully quash the journalist-who-just-got-the-scoop-of-a-lifetime tendencies out of me.”

He nodded once, kissed her forehead, then stepped back to she could resume her pacing. “Ok, now that we’ve agreed to carry this secret to our graves, you were saying about Ladybug and Adrien?”

“Yeah,” she picked up where she’d left off, “That’s the most obvious pairing. They are in love with each other, right? So, put them in a room and let the bluebirds sing, right?”

“Should be easy enough,” Nino agreed. 

“Oh, babe,” Alya cried, startling Nino, “this is amazing! We can help them—quietly, of course, behind the scenes! They’ve needed each other and some support from citizens for _so_ long. And we can cover for them if they need to make unexpected exits, and _oh gosh_ this explains SO much! Adrien and Marinette… wow… of course, now that I’ve seen it I can’t un-see it. But it doesn’t matter, what matters is that we help them on both sides of the mask. They deserve love, and our help.”

Nino nodded, not quite sure what he was agreeing to, but always thrilled to see Alya in her element. “Yeah, helping them is good.”

Alya’s watch beeped a warning alarm—study hall was almost done. “Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise, “ok, we’d better make our way to the safe room until the akuma attack is over. But you’d better come up with a couple great ideas of how to get Captain Oblivious together with President Incognizant, ok? I will too, of course, but considering how many times we’ve tried to hook those two up, I have a feeling—”

“Yeah,” Nino nodded in agreement, “We’re going to need _all_ the back-up plans we can get.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First up, our intrepid reporter and dutiful wingbro will take a crack at the Ladrien corner of the lovesquare...


	2. Ladrien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest readers and fellow writers, before you read this chapter, please go to any open WIPS and press save. 
> 
> Done? Good. Just wanted to spare you the pain and anguish of losing an ENTIRE chapter or worse. You never know when your computer is going to need to do a big update. A really crummy rough draft is better than no draft. Take it from me. This is Ladrien chapter take 2 because I was not wise. Don't be like me. Be smarter. Press save. Always press save.
> 
> Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Now, let's see what Alya and Nino have in store for the Ladrien corner of the lovesquare...

“No risk, no reward,” Alya said, settling into her seat in the sound booth. 

Nino frowned, “I still think a subtler approach would have been better.”

Alya shrugged, “Well, if this works, you can thank me later.”

“And if it doesn’t work?”

“Then we can try it your way,” Alya admitted, before kissing the furrowed _v_ nestled between Nino’s eyebrows. 

_“Hello and welcome to the Paris Zoo’s sixteenth annual Baby Animal Days!”_

“Oh, it’s starting! I haven’t seen Adrien come in, did you?”

“No, but my man did say he was excited about it.”

_“We’re so glad to have you all here. As you know, Baby Animal Days is a charity event to celebrate Spring and help fund the Zoo during this busiest time of the year. To start off the day, we’d like to introduce our first celebrity guest, supermodel sweetheart and muse of Gabriel Fashion, Adrien Agreste!”_

The crowd that had gathered around the stage at the front of the zoo applauded enthusiastically. “There’s a good turnout this year,” Alya noted. “Probably because of the celebrity guests.” She smirked at Nino and the two of them bumped fists in preemptive triumph. 

Adrien entered from stage right, waving to the crowd and winking at a couple lucky fans. He shook the MC’s hand, and the two made a little casual banter for a moment. “He looks good,” Nino smiled. “I’m glad he picked the bright green shirt. It brings out his eyes. Marinette’s going to die when she sees it.” Alya gave Nino a little side eye and lifted a brow. “What?” Nino grumbled, “I can’t give my bro some fashion pointers?”

Alya giggled and turned her attention forward. _“And now,”_ the MC continued, _“our other celebrity guest for the afternoon, Paris’ own superheroine herself, Ladybug!”_

Adrien’s jaw fell to the floor. “Do you think we should have told them they were headlining together?” Nino fretted.

Alya pursed her lips and shook her head, “Naw, Marinette would have just wormed her way out of it. Besides, once they see each other, the sparks will be flying so strong that any nervousness Mari would have built up will disappear. You’ll see—they’re gonna be _great._ ”

“Ok,” Nino said uncertainly. 

“Seriously, watch the master at work,” Alya grinned smugly as Ladybug arrived. She entered on her yo-yo, doing a circuit behind the band shell and high above the stage, where everyone could watch her impressive acrobatics. Nino kept his eyes on Adrien, who was looking dumbfounded and completely starstruck. 

“You’re right, look at him,” Nino grinned. “Adrien’s totally enamored! This is going to work!”

Just then, Ladybug, who was doing a backflip over the stage, locked eyes with her co-star for the day and her body tensed up. The yo-yo line slipped between her fingers, and she was falling. A fierce look of determination darkened Adrien’s face as he dove toward the flailing spotted superheroine, but he was a moment too late. Ladybug crashed into the roof of the stage face-first and crunched to the stage floor. Adrien’s hands awkwardly hovered around her as he fruitlessly looked for a way to help her up without touching anything sensitive. “Oh, Ladybug! Are you ok?” he gasped.

“I’b fime, I’b fime,” she muttered, getting to her feet and turning around to face the audience, which shared a collective gasp when they discovered her nose was bleeding and her lip was swelling. “Oh!” she winced, tenderly poking at her nose and lip to assess the damage.

“You’re bleeding!” Adrien yelped.

“Don’b lbook!” she spluttered, trying to cover her face while wiping away the blood. 

“Here!” Adrien frowned, unbuttoning the bright green overshirt and stripping it off (leaving him in a white undershirt), and trying to get access to Ladybug’s face to help her clean it up. 

“No!” she wailed as the zoo staff rushed the stage with wads of tissue and water bottles. “I’b serbiousby fime!” she tried again.

Meanwhile, over in the sound booth, “This is _awful,”_ Nino fretted to Alya. Her fingers were turning white on her cheeks. 

Adrien managed to get his shirt on Ladybug’s face, despite her protests— “Nooo! Thabt’s lotus silbk! It’s dbry-cleab obly!”—just as Adrien’s bodyguard made it on the stage from a rear entrance. He was watching Adrien, concerned about the kerfuffle, but then Ladybug turned, and Adrien pulled his shirt away from her bleeding nose causing the giant bodyguard to groan loudly.

“Don’t come up here!” Adrien yelped, but it was too late. The massive man turned pale as a ghost and passed out. The thud would have been audible even without the mics. “Shoot,” Adrien muttered just loud enough for the microphones to pick up, “he can’t handle blood.” 

Ladybug’s face was bright red from sheer mortification, Adrien was caught between helping her and helping his faint bodyguard, and the zoo staff still hadn’t been able to mop up the poor superheroine. 

_“Hang on, everyone, we’re going to need a few minutes!”_ the MC announced, and loud music started playing to try to calm everyone down. 

Ladybug was extremely concerned about the passed-out ape-like man on the stage, and raced over, “Oh bno, he probabwy meeds CPR!” she gasped frantically. “I’b so sorry Abrien, I kilbed your bobbyguarb!”

The bloodied green shirt fell to the stage floor as Ladybug tried to get access to Gorilla. A paramedic had to hold her back and explain that the large man was not dead, not by a long shot. She was too worked up to listen, though, and Adrien was about to get whiplash from turning to his bodyguard and reassuring the girl who was legit freaking out. “I thought the supersuit was supposed to be indestructible!” he cried as he tried to calm her down.

“My nobse isn’t cobered by the suib,” she hiccoughed, “But the bobbyguarb!”

Back in the sound booth, Alya was pounding her forehead with her fist. Nino couldn’t take his eyes off the trainwreck in front of him. “Well. That was… fun…” Nino groaned, watching as a couple paramedics finally got Ladybug to sit still long enough to clean her up, while another group was able to get Gorilla coherent enough to stumble off stage and to a place where he could put his feet up. “Still think it was a good idea not to tell them they were headlining together?”

Alya sent him a blistering look before inching away from him and sticking her nose in the air. 

After a minute or so of frantic stage management, the zoo staff backed off and Adrien gave a thumbs-up to the MC, who resumed, “ _Ok, looks like we’re back in business! We’ve got some adorable baby animals to introduce! First up, let’s greet one of our newest additions to our zoo family, born just last month!”_ Ladybug was still hiding her tissue-stuffed nose from Adrien and blushing like a wildfire.

“Oh good,” Alya relaxed slightly. “Get some cute fuzzy things in their hands and that whole… debacle… will be a distant memory.”

A zoo worker came out with a sweet black panther cub in her arms. The crowd gave a delighted sigh. The little cat was given to Adrien. Ladybug stole a glance at him from behind her hands (she still was too self-conscious about her swollen nose), and blushed. Adrien flashed a melty look at her and crooned, “Oh Wadybug? Don’t you just _wove_ widdol kittens? Well, this is Baby Noir, and he _woves_ you!”

Nino groaned, “Oh no, he’s doing baby talk.”

Adrien persisted, “I fink Baby Noir and I need to cwall _claw_ -enforcement, because you just _whiskered_ away our heawts!”

Nino gripped the edge of his seat and cringed, “Baby talk puns?” Now it was Alya’s turn to give Nino an I-told-you-so look. Nino pulled the brim of his hat down further to hide his face. “First thing tomorrow morning we’re going to work on pick-up lines.”

Up on the stage, Adrien was snuggling with the panther cub, holding one of its paws between his fingers and making it swipe playfully at Ladybug. Finally, Ladybug dropped her hands from her face and smiled bashfully through her split lip. She reached out her hands and Adrien excitedly handed over the baby cat. The audience applauded politely. Nino and Alya sighed in relief. Maybe this fiasco could still be saved if Marinette was willing to overlook Adrien’s ridiculousness.

Maybe. She hadn’t been holding the cub for more than ten seconds when the zoo staff decided it was time to bring out another animal—this time a whole armful of baby ducks. Adrien looked like he might sprout wings and fly away, watching Ladybug cuddling that little black panther. Meanwhile, Ladybug was so preoccupied with the howling cub in her arms and making timid looks at her crush that it wasn’t until the ducks were right behind Adrien that she screamed, “WAIT! HE’S ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS!”

Adrien wheeled around just as the zoo worker jumped in alarm, losing his grip on all the ducklings, which flapped right in Adrien’s face. They hit the stage ground and started waddling in every which way, quacking angrily, while the cub in Ladybug’s arms panicked and bolted up Ladybug’s arm, and Adrien started gasping for breath and holding his nose. Then, the sneeze attack hit. 

“How’d you know a-a-a-ACHOO-about the fea-a-a-ACHOO!-ethrs?” Adrien plugged his nose to try to stop the sneezing. One of the ducklings ran over his shoes and the zoo worker plowed into his legs trying to catch it, causing Adrien to fall backward and another duckling to jump on his chest.

Meanwhile, the panther was scrambling over Ladybug’s head and she was desperately trying to get a hold of it, while poorly covering, “Um…I r-read it, yeah!” she swatted at where it had knotted her hair into an impressive nest, “On the f-fragrance ad! In the—mrf!” The cub stuck a paw in Ladybug’s mouth and muted her. 

Nino and Alya shared a distraught look and hung their heads in defeat. The MC seemed to agree that enough was enough and announced, _“Well, thank you so much to Ladybug and Adrien Agreste for visiting today! Everyone… everyone will get half off a future visit and… oh, you two, just go home and try not to kill yourselves in the process!”_

As the zoo staff desperately worked to collect the ducklings and pried the cub off Ladybug’s face, Nathalie entered the stage and started tugging on Adrien’s arm (apparently trying to mitigate any further damage). Back in the silent sound booth, two humiliated best friends looked at each other. “Well, that was, to quote one Dupain-Cheng, a disaster.”

Alya nodded in disgrace. “Who’d’ve thought that Adrien and Ladybug would totally self-destruct when they saw each other?”

Nino groaned as Adrien tried to blow one last awkward kiss at Ladybug, “Maybe next time we should try something a little more private?”

Alya gulped but nodded. “Yeah, and the complete opposite of _this.”_ She waved her hand toward the stage just as Ladybug zipped off the stage, little bits of cat fur and duck feather wafting out behind her. “Because if Ladybug and Adrien—the two sides of them that they recognize as their one-true-pairing—can’t form a coherent sentence around each other, then we’re going to have to go at this from a different angle.” Ladybug looked over her shoulder once before completely leaving the zoo complex, Adrien waved, and she ran into a tree. Leaves exploded in a green cloud of humiliation. “A _totally_ different angle.”

Nino and Alya nodded at each other once and agreed aloud, “Marichat.”


	3. Marichat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day! I hope you all take a moment for some self-love today, and enjoy another silly chapter of this crackfic. Just as a recap of what's going on--Nino and Alya accidentally found out Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities, and are now bent on hooking Adrien and Marinette up. In today's adventures, they try a new corner of the lovesquare: Marichat.

“She’s totally going to find the cameras and freak out,” Nino fretted.

“No way, that girl is _oblivious._ Case in point:” Alya waved her tablet, which was streaming from the cameras Alya had hidden on Marinette’s balcony. Marinette was pacing back and forth in front of the camera, talking to herself and emphasizing points with her hands. “The love of her life is coming right now in a tight leather catsuit and she’s wearing her pajamas.”

“Well,” Nino nodded slowly, “at least promise me that if something happens that’s… um… compromising or something, we’ll shut off the camera right away. I’m _only_ allowing the camera because I’ve _got_ to see how this plays out.”

Alya nodded once in quick agreement. “Totally.” She peered over the rooftop ledge of the adjacent building they’d commandeered for the afternoon, looking for Chat Noir. It was a pretty sweet setup—being camped out where they could see most things with their own eyes, but with the camera to hear and for close-ups. Nino admitted that Alya was pretty crafty with her technology. His stomach was still in knots, though. The disastrous “Ladrien” plan had disheartened both of them, and while they agreed that they couldn’t leave anything to chance this time, _so_ much was still left to chance. Not to mention the added potential of getting caught bugging their best friends’ date. 

_Oh well,_ Nino reasoned with himself, _it’ll be worth it if it works. They deserve it. For Marinette and Adrien._

“Here he comes!” Alya squealed, and Nino’s head snapped up to see his clueless friend racing over the rooftops. He paused for a moment when he locked eyes on Marinette’s pacing figure, took a deep breath as if to steel himself against a storm, and raced to her balcony. He landed just short of the railing, clinging to the shingles and crawling up to her dramatically. 

“Well, hello there, _Purr_ incess,” Chat Noir grinned from below. Marinette startled from the unexpected greeting.

“Chat! I… I didn’t think you’d _actually_ show up!”

He jumped to the railing, perched like a cat, and swung his tail. Nino frowned at the screen and muttered, “Come on dude, take it easy… she’ll be more impressed if you tone it down…”

“Of course I’d show up! With a-a note like that? How could I not?”

Only half of Marinette’s face was visible on the screen, but she looked perplexed, “Note?”

Chat shrugged and jumped to the balcony beside her. The sudden motion lined up perfectly with Marinette’s steady pacing, and the two were unexpectedly chest-to-chest. Alya got a manic gleam in her eye. But as quickly as it had happened, the two flew back from each other, Marinette’s arms cartwheeling and Chat smoothing his hair nervously. 

“Mainly I came to tell you—” Chat started apprehensively.

At the exact same second, Marinette tried to begin, “I’m glad you’re here because I needed to say—”

They looked at each other, having just interrupted the other, and laughed hesitantly. Chat held out his hand for her to go first. She gulped audibly. “I just wanted to say that I’m really flattered by the note you put in my bag and all, but I—”

“What?” he interrupted again. “You mean the text you sent me?”

“Text?” she asked.

“Oh no,” Alya groaned, “I thought we’d get at least a few minutes more before they discovered the ruse!”

“You texted me this afternoon. It was cute and all, but I thought I made myself clear—I’m in love with Ladybug!”

“I didn’t text you,” Marinette stated flatly. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Yes you did; I got a text from Marinette Dupain-Cheng that read,” he quoted in a high, sing-song voice, _“‘Roses are Red, Kitties are black, your cute butt, Noir, gives me a heart at—’_ ”

“I did no such thing!” Marinette squealed, turning bright pink and gripping her cheeks for dear life. 

Over on the adjacent rooftop, Alya punched Nino’s arm. “That’s _really_ what you texted him?” she groaned.

“What?” Nino griped, “You said to get him here. It worked, didn’t it?”

“If you didn’t text me, why are you up here waiting at the exact time and in the exact place that you promised you would?” Chat Noir questioned with his hands on his hips.

“I-I… because of _this!_ ” Marinette crunched her nose, picking up a lime green piece of paper sitting on the small table on her balcony. She shoved it in Chat Noir’s face. He tentatively fingered it and read it over.

 _“ ‘Dear Marinette, I’ve been thinking about you ever since the day your father was akumatized and I’m sorry I was such an insensitive prick. I’ve seen the error of my ways and want to make it up to you. I feel so differently now—you’re beautiful and smart and I want to—’_ Whoa! This is… this is horrifying!” he blanched.

“It’s not horrifying; I actually thought it was kind of adorable. But…care to explain yourself?” she demanded. 

“I did _not_ write that! For one, there’s no puns. For two, I’m in love with _Ladybug!_ And for three, it’s not even my handwriting!” Chat shoved the paper back at Marinette with a scowl.

“Your handwriting?” Marinette huffed. “How in the world am I supposed to know what your handwriting looks like?”

Chat Noir glared at her, snatched the paper back from the superheroine-not-in-disguise, flattened it against the table, popped open his staff and pulled out a pen, then slowly narrated what he was writing, _“ ‘I, Chat Noir, did not write this disgusting piece of filth. I am a cat of integrity and claw-someness.’_ There. See? Look! Not even remotely the same.”

Marinette stalked with balled fists over to the table and looked down at the paper. She studied it for several seconds before looking up at Chat Noir with a slightly softened expression. “Ok, I’ll grant that your handwriting doesn’t look like the note. It does, however, look a lot like Adrien Agreste’s handwriting.”

 _“Crap!”_ Nino yelped. Alya elbowed him to keep quiet—they may have been on a different rooftop, but voices could carry that far. “We’re going to have to abort! She can’t find out his identity this way!”

“Shhh!” Alya groaned.

“How do you know what Adrien Agreste’s handwriting looks like?” Chat shot at Marinette, and Nino relaxed a bit. 

“He’s in my class,” Marinette fired back.

Chat Noir lifted a skeptical eyebrow, “I go to school too and I don’t have my classmate’s handwriting memorized.”

Marinette’s eyes went wide, and she was blushing again. “Well, I… I uh… He has artistic handwriting is all and I am a connoisseur of art!”

Chat Noir’s ears perked up at that one. “A-Artistic h-handwriting?”

Alya snorted into her hand. “She’s not going to understand how much she just complimented him, poor thing!”

Sure enough, Marinette plowed forward, unaware of the way Chat Noir’s features had just gone all doughy. “So forgive me if I’ve appreciated Adrien Agreste for things most people don’t notice.”

“N-notice? Like what?”

Marinette started pacing again, ticking things off on her fingers, “He’s smart. Did you know his lowest grade _ever_ was an A minus? Yeah. And he’s poised and talented and so quick to help people!”

“Uh-huh,” Chat Noir sighed, his tail swishing behind him happily. 

Marinette suddenly realized what she was doing and wheeled around, “Oh, you’re going to think I’m a creepy stalker now, shoot!”

“Not at all,” Chat Noir held up his hand, “really!” Marinette still hid her face in her hands. Chat slyly changed the subject while hesitantly patting Marinette’s shoulder, “I’m just glad to hear you’re not upset because I didn’t write this letter.”

“Oh?” she asked suddenly, peeking out between her fingers. “Because I’m not. A creepy stalker, that is. I’m just a normal friend who happens to think nice things about a boy in her class, that’s all!”

Chat Noir didn’t seem to be listening to her rambling, which was probably for the best. “It _is_ a nice letter, even if it is kind of sickly sweet. I wonder who wrote it?”

She stood and looked it over with him, “Good question. Someone clearly was setting us up.”

Chat Noir frowned, “Who would go to all that effort to set us up?”

Marinette shrugged, “I don’t know. All my friends know who I like, and the whole world knows you’re in love with Ladybug, so why would someone even _want_ to hook us up?” She sighed forlornly. 

He caught the angst in her tone and looked at her carefully, “Well, whoever it was is right, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“You _are_ beautiful and smart. Whoever’s got your heart is a lucky guy.”

Alya and Nino groaned together. 

Marinette groaned as well, “If only he felt that way.”

Chat Noir looked confused, “He… he doesn’t?”

Marinette shrugged, “I guess I don’t know that exactly. It’s just that I’ve never been able to tell him how I feel.”

“I see,” Chat responded sadly. “Well, you’ve _got_ to, Marinette! You’re a _cat-_ ch!”

She frowned and swatted at his arm, “How about less punning and less mourning over my pathetic love life and more figuring out who sent us these messages?”

Chat Noir laughed once, “You just totally reminded me of Ladybug.”

“Oh-oh really?” Marinette stammered, her eyes wide, “Wh-why do you s-say that?”

Alya slapped her forehead with the hand not holding the tablet, “Which one is the most oblivious again?”

Chat Noir smiled, “Just the way you _have_ to figure out this puzzle right now.”

Marinette grumped, “Well, aren’t you eager to find out who punked you? Got you to come over to my house under false pretenses? And with that cheesy poem, nonetheless?”

“Cheesy, ha!” he crowed triumphantly, “My kwami would have _loved_ that one!”

Marinette groaned and slapped her head. Nino couldn’t guess what she was thinking. Marinette held out her hand impatiently. “Just show me the text you got from ‘Me.’” She made air quotes with the hand that wasn’t waiting for Chat Noir’s phone.

He clutched his side where his zippered pocket was, “Y-you want to see the—the text?”

“That’s the only way we’re going to get to the bottom of this!”

“But,” Chat Noir hesitated, “I have my texts forwarded to my p-personal phone.”

She rolled her eyes, “You think I’m going to recognize your phone?”

“I don’t know!” he exclaimed, “You’ve got Adrien Agreste’s handwriting memorized; what else do you have rolling around in that pretty little brain of yours?”

She glared, “Do you want to know who’s setting us up or not?”

He tapped his fingers together nervously, “That depends.”

“Depends? On what?”

“On what you’d do to them once you find out.”

She folded her arms and stomped once. “I haven’t decided yet. But it’s not going to be good.”

Nino and Alya looked at each other in alarm, “Maybe it’s time for this little date of theirs to end?” Alya gulped.

“Yeah,” Nino rubbed his throat nervously, “’Nette can be scary at the best of times.”

Alya called Marinette’s phone. They saw their friend pick up on the screen. “Hello?” there was an echo. 

“Marinette!” Alya yelped, “I’m… I’m stuck! I need your help right now!”

On the screen, Marinette slapped her forehead. “What is it this time? I just saw you an hour ago!”

“I know,” Alya said, looking to Nino for help. He merely shrugged. “I um, I have a baking emergency!”

“A baking emergency?”

Chat Noir was watching Marinette pace as she talked to her friend on the phone. Nino decided the black cat was entirely too comfortable. Pulling his own phone from his pocket, Nino started rapidly texting Adrien a string of physics questions from their homework. Marinette whipped around as the phone in Chat Noir’s pocket started screaming loudly. Nino chuckled—he’d made sure Adrien’s ringtone for him was incredibly obnoxious.

“Uh,” Chat grumbled, “I gotta go.”

Marinette frowned and tried to cover the mouthpiece on her phone with her hand, but the camera still rolling picked up her voice loud and clear, “Don’t think this is over, Kitty. We’re _going_ to get to the bottom of this.”

“S-Sure thing, Marinette.” Chat Noir gave her a weak two-fingered salute and jumped off the balcony. 

Nino and Alya slumped backward in defeat. “Nevermind, Marinette,” Alya sighed, “I think I figured it out. But could I come by a bit later? I think I left my jacket in your room.”

Marinette frowned and left the camera frame by descending into her room below. “Sure, whatever. Maybe you could help me solve a problem of my own, one that is _right_ up your journalistic alley…”

Alya gave one last desperate look to Nino who just held up his hands and shook his head. “If I know you,” Alya said with a nervous chuckle, “You’re probably overreacting.”

“Hm. I don’t think so. I think—get this—I think someone is trying to set me up with Chat No—”

“BADCONNECTIONSORRYCAN’THEARYOUBYE!!!”

Alya’s phone was off with a flash, and the two best friends sat there panting and sweating and staring at the sky for several minutes. Finally Nino moaned, “Are you _sure_ this is what you want for our anniversary?”

Alya growled, “I will _not_ let these two defeat me! I’m the Ladyblogger! We figured out their identities!”

“Accidentally, really—”

“Shush! They _love_ each other! Why can’t they just see it?”

“Babe—”

“No! I refuse to give up!”

Nino sighed, “We’re running out of good ideas, though!”

Alya rolled over and glared at her boyfriend, “A big flashy event failed, but so did a quiet rooftop encounter. Ladrien and Marichat are a bust. But I swear, if they just kissed, even once, they’d _feel_ the love they really have for each other. I think it’s time for plan C.”

Nino paled and shook his head, “Please no, anything but that!”

Alya sat up, already determined. “Nino, I hope you’re feeling creative. We’ve got costumes to make.”

“Please, no!”

“That’s right,” she announced dramatically, “It’s time for some serious LadyNoir.”


	4. LadyNoir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, not to fish for compliments or anything...but... yeah, I'm shamelessly fishing for compliments. ;) It's my birthday TODAY! Let's celebrate with my favorite chapter of this fic and Alya and Nino's most brilliant plan yet! :D 
> 
> I also have the last chapter roughed out, so I should be able to finish this whole fic in the next couple of days. Thanks so much for reading, for being such amazing fandom buddies, and making this whole space welcoming and fun. I love writing Miraculous Fanfiction. I hope you all have a great day, wherever you are, and know that someone out there with a psuedonym of "Mommadon" thinks you're pretty special.

“This is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had,” Nino grumped.

Alya just rolled her eyes. “Ok, Mylene, Ivan, you’ll be walking up the street over there, and when we hit you with this—” she held up the container of silly string, “kiss like your life depends on it.”

“Seriously, this is awful. This is really really bad.”

“Nino,” she sighed, “if you’re not going to contribute anything useful, would you mind keeping your negative vibes to yourself?” He groaned and pulled up the neck of his hot pink turtleneck that Alya had whipstitched together so it looked like they were fused at the torso, as if he were trying to swallow his own head with it. “Now,” Alya continued, “I don’t think we’re going to have much time once they arrive. They always try to assess the situation and find a quick and peaceful solution, so we’ll have that going for us—just give them that easy out and they’ll take it.”

“The easy out’s kissing, right?” Rose asked. The group of friends from the class all snickered. 

“Yes,” Alya pinched the bridge of her nose, “Simply put.”

“Ok,” Kim piped up, his arm slung lazily over Ondine’s shoulders, “count us in. We’re always game to help a friend win a bet.”

“Bet?” Mylene asked, concerned, “You didn’t say this was for a bet!”

There was a general murmur of dissent and Alya raised her hands to regain control of the crowd, “It’s not for a bet! No, Kim, we didn’t bet that Ladybug and Chat Noir would kiss, that wasn’t the case at all!”

Nino, who wasn’t enthusiastic at all, cleared his throat and the group fell quiet, “Even though I still hate this plan—”

“You just hate the costume,” Alya interjected playfully.

“Fine,” he grumbled, “I hate the costume. But Alya and I are still on the same page. We owe Ladybug and Chat Noir big time. They’ve rescued us and the rest of Paris so many times, none of us can keep count. We kn—we believe that Ladybug has softer feelings toward the Black Cat than she lets on. Our goal is just to help ignite that passion. Once they lock lips, the fireworks will start, their hearts will recognize each other, and—”

“And true love!” Rose squealed with delight, hugging Juleka’s middle. 

“Basically.” Nino finished with a shrug, before returning to his half of the turtleneck once again.

“What if it doesn’t work? They’re going to be so mad,” Ivan noted with trepidation.

“Well,” Alya took over, “it’s dependent on how well you sell it.” Ivan seemed placated. “OK, so now we’re clear on the plan,” Alya was bouncing in delight again, “everyone know their places?”

Everyone nodded and shuffled into their spots. “Alright,” Nino said with a sigh, donning the ridiculous feather headdress Alya was making him wear, “let’s get this over with.” They gave Rose and Juleka the cue and the two girls took off screaming bloody murder.

“AAAH! Akuma! AKUMA!”

“Someone sound the alarm! They’re making everyone kiss, it’s AWFUL!”

“HELP! Ladybug, Chat Noir, come save the day!”

As their friends ran ahead, Alya winced, “Maybe we should have given them a script?”

Nino shook his head, the feathers wobbling precariously, “It’s so much more natural this way.”

Kim and Ondine were the next to tear off, in a different direction this time, screaming and knocking over a trash can. It worked—the other pedestrians started looking around for the source of the panic, and when they saw Alya and Nino prancing up the street behind them, several screamed and started running as well. In just a few minutes, there was an impressive chain reaction, and Nino had to hand it to Alya. They’d been stumped on how to get Ladybug and Chat Noir together, but this whole fake akumatization thing might just work. Even if it was stupid.

“Ladybug, Chat Noir,” Alya screamed at the top of her lungs, her own headdress dropping a few feathers with her enthusiasm, “We are LoveStrike! Come face us and find out exactly how you truly feel about each other!”

Nino tried not to roll his eyes, then bellowed his rehearsed lines, “One kiss is all it takes! One kiss, or your Miraculouses are OURS!”

They kicked around some trash for a while, trying to make the curbside look a bit more chaotic. Alya threw some glitter in the air. Only a few minutes later, Ivan yelled, “Oh! Ladybug, thank goodness you’re here!” The two superheroes dropped in from above and started assessing the situation.

They’d taken the bait! Now the real show had to begin. First things first—prove their ‘powers’ were real. Pretending they were already in the middle of a battle, Alya cried “Admit your feelings!” and shot a torrent of silly string at Kim and Ondine. The two immediately started kissing and didn’t slow down, not even for air.

Nino forced back a grin and growled, “Ladybug! Admit you love Chat Noir, give him one kiss, or all of Paris is gonna get it!”

Ladybug and Chat Noir gave each other a confused look but continued approaching cautiously. “Alya, Nino, what happened?”

“Uh,” Alya stuttered, “We’re not Alya and Nino, we are LoveStrike!”

Alya squeezed Nino’s hand within the shared arm of their fake akuma costume. Nino used his free hand to shake up the can of silly string. “Now get to kissing or it’s going to get very real very fast!” 

Mylene and Ivan wailed and held on to each other. Chat Noir saw the small can in Nino’s hand, and not knowing that it was harmless, lunged at Nino. Nino yelped and fired the can, hitting Mylene in the chest. She looked stunned for a second, then grabbed Ivan’s shirt collar, tugged him down to her level, and kissed him excitedly. Chat Noir was watching all of this with interest. After the couple broke apart and Ivan gave a contented sigh, Chat turned to Ladybug and grinned, “Maybe we should just do what they say!”

“Not _now,_ Chat!”

“YES NOW!” Alya screamed. “One kiss and we’ll give up our akuma!”

Chat Noir halted and looked at Alya with scrutiny, “Wait, you’ll _give up_ your akuma?”

“Yes, just kiss!”

“Nobody’s ever offered to give up their akuma before,” he reasoned. Then, he bent down and picked up some of the silly string from the ground. “And this… this is silly string.”

“Oh no,” Nino breathed.

“What in the world is going on here?” Ladybug growled, inspecting the silly string for herself. Her fingers trailed over Chat Noir’s as she looked over the substance in his hand. They were so close! 

“JUST KISS!!!” Nino held up the can again and pointed it at the superheroes, who just stood there, deadpanning. Panicking, Nino fired. Pink goo wiggled out of the can, hitting Chat in the abdomen. The hero looked down at it, frowned, looked at Ladybug, then back at Nino. 

“It didn’t work,” he said softly. “I feel no more desire to kiss you now than I did before I came. Which, granted, is a great deal of desire, so if you want to—”

_“Chat!”_

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “But it appears we’ve been catfished.”

Ladybug’s face darkened and, like it’d been hit with lightning, the can of silly string went flying from Nino’s fist. He didn’t even notice the yo-yo moving until Ladybug was stringing it back around her waist and looking at the can up close. “Yes,” she hissed, “it’s silly string. And that’s face paint and clumsily stitched together turtlenecks and…” she marched forward and plucked the headdress from Alya’s head. “Fake feathers. Wow.”

“No it’s not—” Alya lied weakly, grasping fruitlessly at the feathers in Ladybug’s hand.

“What were you _thinking?_ ” Ladybug started. Nino had been on the receiving side of Marinette’s righteous anger before, but with the added power of her Miraculous, Nino had never been more terrified in his life. “Faking your own akumatization?”

“We’re not faking, we’re LoveStrike!”

“Alya. Stop.”

The journalist’s head sunk. Nino and Alya looked at each other and silently decided it was time to give it up. “I-I’m sorry,” Alya tried. Nino dropped his own headdress to the ground and tugged at the turtleneck. “I just… I was certain you had feelings for each other and if I could just get you to recognize them, I thought…” her voice choked up and she just looked at her toes.

Chat Noir stepped in beside Ladybug and the two of them together were a force to be reckoned with. “This wasn’t cool, you two. You can’t just pretend to be akumatized to get our attention—we need to be ready for real villains and helping the city.”

“And trying to get us to kiss? Seriously?” Ladybug scoffed.

“Well,” Chat wagged his eyebrows, “would that have been so _paw-_ ful?”

“Your puns are _paw-_ ful.” Ladybug teasingly flicked Chat Noir’s nose and the tension in the air kicked up a few notches. Chat Noir grinned, delighted. 

Nino slapped his forehead. “But you clearly find them endearing! You secretly love his puns and his flirts!” 

Ladybug’s eyes went wide and she blushed under her mask. “I…I d-do not…” Chat Noir seemed even more surprised than Ladybug. 

Nino plowed forward, “And _you,_ ” he pointed at Chat Noir, “You love more than just the mask, right?”

Chat Noir bristled, “How dare you insinuate that my feelings for My Lady are only skin deep?”

Nino gave him a pointed, incredulous look, “You sure about that?” He was baiting Adrien, knowing full well that his friend wouldn’t let such an injustice stand, “Not that I blame you. Any girl in a skin-tight supersuit is going to be awfully hard to resist…”

Chat Noir whipped out his staff, holding it at the ready, subconsciously crouching into a battle stance, and growled dangerously, “You’re way out of line, Nino. Ladybug isn’t _any_ girl. She’s brilliant, thoughtful, sassy, and fierce. But that’s not why I love her. I love her because even when she’s made a mistake, she always fixes it. She’s not too proud to apologize. I’ve had the unique privilege of being by her side all these months and seeing her grow from nervous and self-conscious to being the powerful superheroine we all see now. I’ve been with her when she’s scared and I’ve seen her puzzle out the solutions to even the toughest villain. She’s always aware of the victim, she puts herself in harm’s way to save the day, she’s a strong leader and a great friend. Of all the insults… I only love the mask… HA! Of any of Ladybug’s amazing features, the mask is the least of the things I’m attracted to!”

Silence rung to the rooftops and back. Everyone had frozen during Chat’s speech. Suddenly, he realized everything he’d said, and he slowly turned to his partner. Her cheeks matched her mask, but she was smiling. “Y-You really feel that way?” Ladybug stammered.

“Well…” he gulped, but then decided it was better to return the focus to the two who had started it all, “You two made a really bad judgement call. But considering there wasn’t any real damage done…”

Ladybug shook the cobwebs from her head (clearly still overwhelmed at the kind things Chat Noir had said), and gave a look-that-could-kill to Nino and Alya. “You two’d better clean up _all_ this trash and glitter,” Ladybug pointed at the overturned bins behind them. “And apologize to the people of Paris for scaring them.” Ladybug dropped the feather headdress that had been in her hand the whole time in the trash bin. It thunked ominously—way louder than it should have if were made of straight feathers—and Alya cringed. “Wait, what was that?” Ladybug looked back in the bin, then grumpily pulled out a small battery-powered camera Alya had embedded in the headdress. “You were _filming?”_

Nino shot a look at Alya. “You didn’t tell me that,” he hissed.

“I know, it was wrong,” Alya frowned. “I’ll clean up the whole street, I promise.” Nino nodded in acceptance of his punishment. 

Ladybug was livid, but Chat Noir squeezed her shoulder softly and she seemed to calm down, his kind words from earlier softening her mood dramatically. “Chat Noir is right, though,” she added carefully. “Since nobody was hurt, consider this a warning. I never, _ever_ want to see you,” she held up the camera that was still rolling to her face so she could look it dead-on, “or anyone for that matter, fake an akumatization again. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Ladybug,” Alya and Nino murmured together in shame. 

“And I’d better see a full apology with all this footage and a clear play-by-play of each and every lousy decision you made, and how _sorry_ you are that you behaved so _foolishly,_ and how _grateful_ you are that nobody actually got hurt and how _repentant_ you both are, and it’d better be on the Ladyblog by 21:00 tonight—”

“It’s livestreaming,” Alya muttered with a frown. Ladybug froze and gnawed on air for a moment, before dropping the camera as if it were infected.

“Just make it right.”

“OK,” Nino answered for them both. 

The two superheroes nodded and took off together. Alya pulled her arms out of the clumsy shared shirt, leaving her in the plain T-shirt she’d been wearing under her costume, and grouchily started picking up trash. “We were SO close!” she wailed. 

Nino tossed his headdress into the bin, then started picking up some more trash. Mylene and Ivan helped. “Sorry, guys,” Nino addressed them, “Sorry we roped you into that.”

“It’s ok, Nino,” Mylene patted his arm. “You heard all those nice things Chat Noir said to Ladybug—that’s got to count for something.”

“Yeah,” Ivan added, “she was pretty dumbstruck. She’s totally falling for him, especially after what he said.”

Nino sighed, “I hope so. I only sacrificed all my self-dignity for that one little speech. I hope it was worth it.”

The group of friends worked together until the street was clean. Mylene and Ivan went home arm-in-arm. Nino and Alya walked away with entwined hands and heavy hearts. “Maybe this whole hooking them up plan was a bad idea,” Alya frowned, now that they were alone.

Nino sighed, “Maybe. But, can I just say UGH? They love each other. We know it! Why can’t they see it?”

“We just want them to be happy!” Alya added with a stomp of her foot. “What if we…”

“No,” Nino said flatly, “No more plans. No more gimmicks. It’s time to just be straight forward with them.”

“You’re not suggesting we tell them—”

“No,” Nino rushed, “ _that_ little tidbit is going to our graves, remember? But it’s time to tackle this head-on. Now, I don’t think my bro is going to be open to yet another lecture from me—”

“I’ll do it,” Alya promised, knowing exactly what he was suggesting, and whipping out her phone to text Adrien. “But if it gets bad, I may need backup.”

“Ok, it’s settled then. Let’s get this Adrinette ship sailing.”


	5. Adrienette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for a grand finale?

“Adrien. We need to talk. Now.”

“Um, well, my bodyguard is waiting for me and I’ve got fenc—”

“Now.” Alya widened her stance and folded her arms. She was _not_ going to take no for an answer.

“Ok then,” Adrien replied jovially, shouldering his bag and leaning against his locker door patiently. “What’s up?”

“You need to ask out Marinette.”

His eyebrows pulled in, “Uh, that’s kind of out of left field, Alya.”

“I don’t care. You need to ask Marinette out, like, yesterday.”

“I can’t—”

“I don’t care what your excuse is. You need to get on your phone and send her a text asking her out. Take her to mini golf. Or go-carts. Something where she can be kind of competitive, yet you can still talk. Come on, Sunshine, pull out your phone.” She clapped her hands impatiently in his face.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck nervously and responded, “Alya, Marinette’s a really good friend of mine, but I have feelings for a different girl. I wouldn’t want to hurt Marinette’s feelings—”

Alya closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, then raised her voice slightly, “Adrien Agreste! Listen to me! You. Need. To. Ask. Out. Marinette. Dupain-Cheng. NOW.” He blinked twice and started shaking his head again. But before he could get in a word edgewise, Alya leaned over her shoulder and yelled, “Reinforcements!”

Nino was at her side in a blink of an eye, both of them leaning towards Adrien so he couldn’t escape. Adrien was looking a bit intimidated. “Dude,” Nino smiled, throwing his arm over his girlfriend’s shoulders, “she’s right. You need to ask her out.”

Adrien’s eyes darted between Nino and Alya and back to Nino, “Nino,” he pleaded, “you _know_ who I’m into—”

Nino smiled, but maintained the intensity the situation called for in his eye. “Dude. Bro. Adrien my man. My best bud. You’ve been my friend since your first day at this school. You’re a freaking model, super rich, talented as all get out—” Adrien tried to protest but Nino plowed on, “and have I _ever_ asked you for anything?”

Adrien thought about that for a second, then smirked, “You did ask me to help _you_ ask Marinette out once.”

“Because I thought she was an amazing girl. Still do. But I’ve found the right one for me,” he kissed Alya’s cheek, “and now I’m asking you, no telling you, you need to ask out Marinette.”

He was still hesitant, though he did pull out his phone and scroll through his contacts list to her name. “But… I have it on good authority that Marinette is in love with a different guy.”

“DUDE!” Alya and Nino groaned in tandem, “ASK HER OUT!”

“Ok! Fine!” Adrien started narrating his text message as he wrote it, “ _‘Hey Marinette. Want to go to mini-golf with me on Saturday?’_ ”

“Tell her it’s a date. She needs to know it’s a date.”

“Ugh! ‘ _Just you and me, as a date?’”_ Alya and Nino nodded their approval. “And… send. There. Happy?”

Alya grinned, “Very. Now, on Saturday, you make sure she has a good time. You listen to her, even if she jumbles her words, ok?”

“And keep an open mind, ok?” Nino added. “Yeah, I know who you’ve got your heart set on, but trust me, Marinette’s… quite the catch.”

“Guys,” Adrien rolled his eyes, “Marinette means a lot to me. I’m not going to hurt her, whether our time together is purely platonic or romantic.” Alya nodded again in satisfaction. “Besides, I don’t even think she’s going to say ye—” his phone buzzed, “Oh,” he interrupted himself, “she… she says she’d love to… oh… um…” he smiled at the texts on his phone and blushed lightly, “I guess she likes the mini-golf idea… oh, that’s cute… She sent a cat meme!” He wandered off texting her back and Nino and Alya grinned at each other. 

“No getting cocky,” Alya warned Nino, “we’ve still got to get through Saturday.” Adrien made it out of the locker room, but was so preoccupied by the texts burning up his phone that he nearly ran into Alix. “But you got to admit, that’s pretty encouraging.”

* * *

“Make it look casual!” Alya groaned as Nino pulled his hat brim over his eyebrows and whistled pointedly. “You look like a stalker!”

He laughed playfully and straightened up. “Just teasing, babe. But you did promise some high-quality people watching for our anniversary, and now that it’s here,” he smiled, reached in, and kissed his girlfriend’s jaw, “I’m eager to celebrate. And also really glad that I’m not in a feather headdress this time.”

She laughed adorably, grabbed his chin, and planted a slow, lingering kiss on his mouth that made his spine tingle. “Happy Anniversary babe. Sorry I got so caught up in all this lovesquare stuff that I’ve kind of neglected you.”

He kissed her again and rubbed her nose with his, “No way, we’re in this together. I’ve got a good feeling about today. These two dorks are going to share our anniversary, I just know it!”

She smiled as their glasses clunked softly, “Here’s hoping.” One more soft kiss, and they returned to their waiting game. They weren’t intending to crash Marinette and Adrien’s date, not really—just give it a little push in the right direction. Make sure it didn’t end too fast. And if Alya were being completely honest with herself, she had too much invested now _not_ to see it out to the end. 

It didn’t take too long before Marinette’s nervous laughter caught their attention. Alya smiled at her watch. Oblivious though he may be, Adrien was very punctual, and everything was moving according to schedule. Sure enough, the two lovebirds rounded the corner a moment later. They were keeping a comfortable distance from each other, doing that awkward first-date thing where they weren’t touching but felt like they probably should be. Alya suppressed a groan. _Just take her hand!_ Oh well, at least Marinette was looking adorable. She’d left her hair down and had done it in some beachy waves that were bouncing elegantly. A light yellow sundress, a white shortsleeve lace overshirt, and white ballet flats gave off a sweet, simple vibe and Adrien appeared to like it. He kept looking down at her hair and her arms and her dress, and his fingers kept twitching like he was yearning to touch her. _Do it!_ Alya screamed at him with her mind, _Just take her hand already!_

“Nino? Alya?” Marinette called to them. Adrien hadn’t noticed they were sitting on the park bench and looked up when Marinette spoke. “What are you doing here?”

Nino looked around furtively, then pressed his hand to his chest, “What a surprise! We were just out on a date because it’s our anniversary! I had no idea you were coming _here!_ ”

Marinette deadpanned at Alya and folded her arms, “Alya, I told you we were going mini golfing. You helped me pick out my dress.”

Adrien gave skeptical eyebrows to their friends, “And you two were there when I asked her out!”

Marinette seemed interested in that little tidbit, but quickly returned her lasergaze at her friends. Nino chuckled and his voice squeaked, “Oh, you were meaning _this_ mini golf park? We were just getting some dinner and going for a walk. We had no idea you’d be at this specific place at this specific time!” Alya elbowed Nino discreetly. Time to shut up.

“Are you having a good time on your date?” Alya covered sweetly.

Marinette and Adrien looked at each other once, then turned back to their friends, “Well, we just got started, so… yeah?” Adrien said slowly. Marinette nodded.

“Excellent! Well, don’t let us keep you, we’re going to go get some ice cream. I heard Andre’s around here today, maybe that would be fun?”

“Sure, maybe,” Adrien added. “Um… you don’t want to come mini-golfing with us, do you?” he asked, clearly trying to be polite. What are you supposed to do when you run into other friends on a date, after all? 

“No, no, we’ve got other plans,” Nino said suddenly, jumping to his feet and pulling up Alya with him. “Plans that _don’t_ involve you.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at his girlfriend. 

Marinette gagged playfully. “You disgust me. Well, have a good evening then, we’ll see you later at school.”

“Mm-hmm!” Alya waved, making gooey kissing noises at Nino until Adrien took Marinette’s elbow softly and led them away. Once they were out of earshot, Alya and Nino raced off to a more covert distance to ‘people watch,’ even if there were only two people they were interested in watching.

* * *

Once Alya and Nino were out of earshot, Marinette let out an exasperated giggle. “I just gotta say—those two have been so _weird_ lately!”

Adrien threw back his head and laughed, “I _know!_ Did you see the Ladyblog the other day? They actually faked being akumatized!”

“Right!” Marinette gesticulated incredulously, “Like, who even _does_ that? A lot of people were saying on the Ladyblog that the ends would have justified the means if Ladybug and Chat Noir had kissed, but I’m totally on Ladybug’s side. It was really irresponsible and reckless!”

“Oh, I wholeheartedly agree,” Adrien added fiercely. “What would have happened if an akuma popped up? With how many people they scared with their charade, I’m surprised nobody got akumatized _because_ of it.”

“And for what, just to get the superheroes to kiss? Their love lives are their own business, not Nino and Alya’s!” Marinette was building up a pretty head of steam by now, and Adrien couldn’t help but smile at his adorable date. 

“But would that have really been such a bad thing?” he teased.

“Oh, not you too!” she grumped, folding her arms and throwing him a sassy smirk that nearly knocked him off his feet. Wow, Marinette was _fierce_ when she wanted to be! 

“I’m just saying,” he countered, willing to hold his ground on this one and see where it led, “that Ladybug and Chat Noir would make an awfully cute couple.”

She rolled her eyes, wrinkled her nose, and retorted, “Chat would say _paw-_ fully cute.”

His stomach did an unexpected backflip. “That’s right, he would.”

Marinette started walking toward the mini golf course again, the cute wrinkle-nosed pout still gracing her features, and huffed, “Did you know someone tried to set me up with Chat Noir last week?”

“Y-yeah—really?” _Smooth, Agreste, real smooth._ “That’s strange.”

“It was. I got this note, and apparently he got a text he thought was from me, but neither of us had actually sent them. He came to my house and everything.”

“Oh. That sounds… awkward?”

“It was. But then, Alya and Nino pretended to be akumatized to get Ladybug and Chat Noir to kiss, as if they were trying to get the superheroes to hook up. Poor Chat,” Marinette sighed with a hint of fondness in her eyes, “he was really polite with me when we discovered the ruse, but then to get thrown right back at another… another girl right after that…”

Adrien thought about that. It was a strange coincidence to be set up twice in a row like that sure, but mainly he noticed how tender Marinette’s voice went when she talked about his alter ego. Adrien smirked and replied, “I don’t think he minded, though that is really weird.”

Marinette snorted, “Oh that sly cat definitely didn’t mind.”

Adrien’s heart did another one of those funny quickstep patterns. The back-and-forth between tender fondness and sassy retorts was killing him dead. They made it to the mini golf course and Adrien bought them a couple of passes. Marinette got shy again when he helped her pick out a putter of appropriate length. All he did was hold it up to her thigh and run his fingers down her forearms to show her how to hold it and she froze like he’d hit her with an ice gun. 

“Just relax and move like this,” he tried patiently, reaching around her waist from behind to take her wrists in his hands and practice swinging. 

“TH-th-th-th-thanks,” she stuttered, then paused to wipe sweat off her palms, and tried the swing again like he’d shown her. 

“Yeah,” he said, “I think that’s a good length for you.”

“Mmhmm,” she managed weakly, turning around and meeting his eye. He suddenly realized how close he was, how blue her eyes were, and how cute her hair looked like that. Wow. He took a couple quick steps backward and bumped into the rack of putters, knocking it over. They fell with a huge crash.

“Oh!” he gulped. Marinette jumped into action.

“Shoot, usually _I’m_ the clumsy one!” she laughed lightly and helped Adrien pick up all the loose golf clubs. Their fingers accidentally tangled up as they reached for the same putter. Adrien didn’t pull away. Neither did she. Then, they blushed and looked away. It took a third bystander to impatiently cluck his tongue at them before they finished cleaning up and bashfully made their way to the first hole of the course. 

Adrien was enjoying the way his stomach was doing backflips, but he also missed their playful banter from before. In an effort to get her talking again, and hopefully see that sassy smirk return, Adrien threw out a curveball: “Ok, conspiracy theory time.” She turned and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Conspiracy theory?” she echoed as she hit her ball with surprising force and accuracy. 

“Nice shot!”

“Thanks.”

“Yes,” he said, lining up his putt carefully, “conspiracy theory time. What if—and hear me out on this—what if Nino and Alya were the ones who tried to set you up with Chat Noir?” He hit the ball. It was a pathetic hit and bounced off two walls before rolling back to the tee. She smirked. His heart flipped.

“Well, at least that would be in character for them, but why would they try to set me up with Chat Noir? And then why would they try to get Chat Noir and Ladybug to kiss?”

“And then,” Adrien added, “beg me to take you out? Not that I mind—this is a blast,” he added hastily. His second hit was much better. 

Just then a pigeon fluttered down and landed on the clumsy miniature Arc de Triomphe they were trying to hit their balls through. “Whoa, look out!” Marinette yelped, placing a hand on Adrien’s chest and pushing him away from the bird as if it were toxic, and raced forward to shoo it away. He stood there, watching her charging the unassuming animal; it flew away with a panicked look in its beady yellow eyes. Adrien was still watching Marinette when she turned around a moment later, and when she noticed the way he was looking at her, she blushed and looked at her toes. “Sorry,” she apologized sheepishly, “I just know you’re allergic to feathers and didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, thanks for watching out for me,” he murmured, his brain churning. There were just _so_ many coincidences. “It’s just strange; a couple weeks ago I was co-headlining at the zoo with Ladybug and she remembered I was allergic to feathers as well. It’s such an odd detail to remember, it just stood out to me.”

“Oh-Oh? Is that r-right?” she jabbered while spinning in a frantic circle. She was being _very_ odd.

“Marinette?” Adrien said softly, “are you ok?”

Marinette suddenly froze, staring at the fake Arc de Triomphe. “Adrien,” she mumbled, barely audible, “who put you up to headlining at the zoo?”

He had to think about it—it had been a while, after all. “Alya’s dad was the coordinator of the event, but Nino was the one who asked and set it all up.”

She blanched. “And you were there with… with Ladybug.”

She was clearly seeing a connection that he didn’t yet, but this felt more important than their game of mini-golf, so he collected their putters and guided her to a nearby bench, hidden under a tree, where there was better privacy and quiet. “Yeah, Ladybug was the other celebrity guest,” Adrien noted.

“And then someone tried to set me up with Chat Noir, someone who sent Chat a ridiculous text—”

“It was _cute,_ ” Adrien defended.

“—and me a note, someone who had access to my bag… and then Nino and Alya were faking akumatization to get Ladybug and Chat Noir to kiss and now encouraging us to go on a d-da—hang on, did you say it was _cute?”_

Adrien clamped his hand over his mouth. “Crap,” he muttered behind his fingers, “I mean,” he tried to cover up, “it was a funny idea, the texting thing—”

“No, you said the text was cute. You knew what the text said?”

 _Roses are red, Kitties are black…_ yes, he had the text memorized. “Of course not! I just… I just… Well, you remembered that I was allergic to feathers and y-you… you knew what Adrien’s handwriting looks like, my handwriting, I mean… uh…”

Her face was so white it looked like she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. “K-kitty?” she gasped.

“Shh!” he croaked, even though the word she’d uttered was barely audible. 

“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh,” she started panicking, rubbing her palms on her skirt as she rocked back and forth. “I can’t believe it. Ch-Chat Noir. Chat _freaking_ Noir. Is A-Adr-Adri-Adri…”

“Marinette!” he said firmly, taking her hands in his to stop her from completely losing it.

“Well,” she rambled on to herself, her eyes having glazed over a while ago and looking utterly manic, “at least they weren’t trying to get Chat Noir to two-time the love of his life, that’s a good thing. Wait, shoot, does that mean they know? How? Where? Oh, they’re dead, they’re so dead, but they didn’t say anything, maybe they don’t know? Of _course_ they know, I’m going to kill them! But they didn’t tell anyone, at least I don’t think so, so, oh, of course, they’re keeping it a _secret_. Oh well, I’m going to kill them anyway—”

Adrien might have written off her frantic mumblings as typical Marinette, but Alya had specifically instructed to him to listen to her, even if she was jumbling her words, and so he leaned slightly forward and let her keep talking. And that’s when it struck him like a ton of bricks falling from the sky. “Marinette.”

“How shall I do it? They knew and they went to all those crazy lengths…they put Paris in jeopardy, for crying out loud...”

“Marinette,” he insisted a little louder.

“But at least they had good intentions? But how, _how_ did they find out…”

“Ladybug!” he said, touching her chin and turning it to him gently.

She squawked and their eyes locked in perfect understanding. They didn’t move for a very long time, just looked at each other, at one complete being, and let their brains catch up. It was Marinette who broke the silence with a raspy, “Adri…AdriChat?”

He chuckled once and stroked her cheek with his thumb, “My Maribug.”

She smiled slowly, “It was you. It was you all along.”

He nodded, “Wow, I’m an idiot. I’ve been in love with you for so long and I never realized you were sitting right behind me.”

“You were in l-love with me?”

“Uh, yeah,” he teased softly, “I only told you that every chance I got…”

She blinked rapidly and then smiled, “That’s right. I… oh my gosh,” she slapped her own cheeks adorably, “I turned down _Adrien Agreste!”_ She collapsed in her lap and shook her head, groaning something inaudible. 

“It’s ok, Marinette,” he said helplessly, patting her back. 

“No, it’s not,” she wailed, coming back up for air and poking out her lower lip, “I’ve been turning you down for _you!”_

“It’s really fine, I don’t expect you to have feelings for—wait, did you just say you’ve been turning me down for me?”

She nodded pathetically, “I… I… I really l-like you, Adrien. Like, a lot. Like,” she gulped, trying to steady herself, “I love you, ok?”

“You do?” he said, hope springing up in his gut. “Really?” She nodded shyly, smiling through her watery gaze. “Do you know what that means? That means we’re in love with each other, and we always have been!” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly, as if they were coming home to each other at last.

* * *

“Hold still, I can’t get a good angle!” Alya grumbled.

“Hurry,” Nino whined, holding her shins carefully to steady her as she leaned over the flower bed with her camera. 

“That stupid tree is in the way! Why’d they have to pick _that_ bench? Seriously, I can’t see anything!”

“I can’t hold it much longer,” Nino encouraged, before unceremoniously dropping her. Alya bounced on her feet, Nino caught her hands and apologized again, “Sorry.”

She pouted, but just sighed. “I don’t think it’s going to work. They’re too far away to hear, and there’s too many trees. I think it’s a lost cause.”

Nino and Alya sat next to each other on the ground with their backs against the flower bed. “We tried everything we could think of. _Everything._ Ladrien was a no-go. Marichat was… terrifying. LadyNoir was the most embarrassing thing we’ve ever done. And Adrinette, our one saving grace, is putzing along—”

“Nice pun!”

“—at a turtle’s pace. This is _terrible._ I… I quit.”

Nino patted his girlfriend’s back. “We tried, babe, no one can say we didn’t try.”

“I guess we’re just going to have to give them time and space. Maybe someday they’ll get together. But as much as it pains me to admit, there’s some things you just can’t rush.”

“Agreed,” Nino sighed, pulling Alya back to her feet and leading her slowly toward the park exit. “They’ll forever be our favorite idiots, though.”

“Definitely, they deserve each other one hundred percent,” she mourned, wrapping her arm around Nino’s waist, placing her head on his shoulder, and walking to the exit in defeat. She didn’t have the heart to turn around for one last glance. It was too humiliating. 

* * *

Too bad she didn’t, though, because Marinette and Adrien were holding each other’s faces as if their lives depended on it, kissing for all they were worth. When they finally broke apart with punch-drunk grins and lovesick gazes, they plotted their revenge on the friends who had compromised their identities, but also brought them together. 

“I’ve got it,” Adrien whispered huskily to his gorgeous girlfriend and brilliant partner, “let’s see how many dates we can get them to go on before they realize we’re setting them up.”

Marinette pursed her oh-so-soft lips (gosh, he wanted to kiss her again… and he would, oh how he would) and raised an eyebrow. “Double dates. With us. _Super_ romantic ones. But don’t tell them we’re together. Just let them be frustrated with how long it’s taking us to notice each other.”

“Oh, My Lady,” he chuckled, leaning to a millimeter from her intoxicating lips, “you’re _paw-_ sitively demonic, you know that?”

Her eyes darkened, she brushed her nose against his, “What can I say? A sneaky, gorgeous black cat has been rubbing off on me.” 

* * *

The End

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO much for reading and your kind words and kudos! If you liked this story, feel free to check out my other works, or come meet other cool authors and artists at our Miraculous Fanworks Discord Server. This story was written based on a prompt by Z_IsInThe_Zone, through a Miraculous Fanworks fic exchange--thanks again for the prompt! I hope you all have a terri-FIC and FAN-tastic day!  
> [Miraculous Fanworks Discord Server Invite](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)


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